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echoes: personal status: aura: you know that strange feeling that you get sometimes when you least expect it. that feeling like you are just not feeling like doing anything anymore. when you wake up and look around a bit while sitting on the edge of the bed, hunched over, and make the conscious decision to go back to bed and wake up at four in the afternoon. that feeling that nothing you are doing now makes a difference: a day from now, a week, a month, a year, a decade, a generation, a century, a millennium, a life-cycle. that feeling where you would rather take in the indulgences of life rather than be the careful one. that feeling of wanting to be irresponisble than to be held to certain standards. that feeling that life should be taken very liberally and without consequence. right now, I wish for this sense of euphoria. instead, I sit wondering if I will get that job promotion, pass all my classes, get...you know, whatever, I am going to drink the last cup of coffee, enjoy a cigarette, and then retire for the night so I could repeat the strum und drang of life. hey, maybe I'll actually start writing real and relevant entries. |
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