that is out of character for me. I am usually an irenic person. I bring a certain calmness to anything. It doesn't seem to be me to always be angry. how in the hell did I get so angry? I guess I blame the world for dumping its problems in front of my scarred eyes. but why? I continue to beat myself up over this. I usually just ignore the world by sheltering myself in the sanctuary of my room and refrain from contemplating about the world's delemmas. but it always seems to break through the walls of my sancturary and plague my peaceful mind. I guess I am puttting a little too much thought into this.

so let me tell you about my day. work is a necessary evil, I hate it but I want money, so I make compromises. I have held this job for eighteen months and I face the possibility of promotion. but anyway, that is irrelevant to my day. I arranged books all day, making sure the right book matched the right label on the shelf. at work this is called "zoning to planogram". retarded names I know. but anyway, I realized how fucking lazy people can be and how much I hate children. finding cracker crumbs on a shelf hidden by books is something I find appalling. not only that, but the fact that it is hidden. fucking little shits. especially these two kids that were at work today, their mother must have the patience of a saint. her son was fucking up a iPod display that my work has behind the camera display case. pushing all the boxes and bubble packages toward the back, and touching everything in sight. while the daughter continued to defy her mother by refusing to cooperate with what she said. I am probably one of the best employees at the store, I know what we have and where it is located. if someone is to ask me where a particular movie is, chances are I know if the store has it and where it may be found. I deserve the promotion just based on the patience I portray and the competence I display. I will be submitting my application on Thursday for this new job.

right now I am calming down to the smooth operatic voice of Sarah Brightman. I just consulted iTunes to find out it is "Bailero" from her CLASSICS album. I find her voice soothing. what was I just ranting about? she made me forget. well it doesn't matter now, for the sandman has been waiting for me in my butterfly chair for about fifteen minutes now. he'll have to wait, I am going out for a couple of cigarettes and then I will meet with him.

until we meet again, this is the Naive telling you that no matter how hard you try to scrape that scratch and sniff sticker it will not complement you on your flamingo suit. gut nacht alle!

posted at 23:52 on 03.30.2004
gone // now // coming

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